Addictions (not for the hungry or faint hearted)

I believe that every person that has an weight problem has some sort of addiction. Some food that is there trigger food. I have many. Some have been there as long as I can remember, others are things I picked up along the way. So let's get the list started shall we?????


I think the pic and the happiness on my face speaks for itself. I have a hard and I mean HARD time leaving the grocery store or any store for that matter without one. The combo of smooth milk chocolate and creamy peanut butter makes more sense to me than PB & J (don't get it twisted I love those too:) Yep 230 of my calories go to these sinful decadent treats and honestly it's hard to stop.

Then there are the other ones I picked up in life. Working as a high end conference center server I gained a love for all things exotic and decadent. Things I could only have at work or at super great restaurants rarely or just things I didn't ordinarily eat the number one vice was paella.

Paella (IPA: [pa'eʎa]) is a rice dish which originated in the Spanish Autonomous Community of Valencia near lake Albufera, a lagoon in eastern Spain.[1] Spaniards consider paella to be one of their national dishes.
There are three widely known types of paella: Valencian paella (Spanish: paella valenciana), seafood paella (Spanish: paella de marisco) and mixed paella (Spanish: paella mixta); but there are many others as well. Valencian paella consists of white rice, green vegetables, meat, snails, beans and seasoning. Seafood paella replaces meat and snails with seafood and omits beans and green vegetables. Mixed paella is a free-style combination of meat, seafood and sometimes beans.
The varieties of rice used are usually Calasparra[2][3] or Bomba[3]. Other key ingredients include saffron, and olive oil.
This dish has gained considerable popularity throughout most of the Spanish-speaking world, including the Hispanic regions of the United States. It also enjoys moderate popularity throughout Western Europe.


Thanks wikipedia!
anywho, this, Coke Zero, bruschetta on petit toast, giardineria, a great steak, homemade buttermilk ranch dressing, anything that combines mint and chocolate, a good Merlot, a great chardonnay, good Mexican food, and just unabashed food decadence are my trigger points. They immediately bring me to this happy, euphoric state. And then afterwards..it all comes crumbling down.

That's when I start to think and ask myself questions: How long do I really want to be the fat girl? How long do I want to buy my clothes in the higher end of the plus size section? How long do I want to have aches and pains that just aren't common for a 27 year old woman? How long do I want to be UNHEALTHY???

So I struggle with those addictions everyday, because they are the gates that separate me from my healthy body. I'm trying to move closer to my new found loves: roasted zucchini, portobella mushrooms, and eggplant, strawberry yogurt and granola, Greek salads, and egg whites with salsa. My addictions wont stop me from being as thin and healthy as I want to be they will just make getting there that much sweeter.

Not bad for a day off

So I have a new management schedule and oddly enough I have thursdays and fridays off now. Personally I think that's a pretty sweet deal. My eating habits are normally the worse on my days off. Actaully they are not that bad but I always have to find something to occupy my time so I wont randomly, mindlessly eat. I know that thing should be exercise, but today *sigh* it wasn't I was pretty busy though. BREAKFAST:
1 poached egg
1 piece of whole wheat toast with SF strawberry preserves
2 slices of Jenni-O extra lean turkey bacon
5 strawberries with 2 oz. 2% cottage cheese and splenda


That pretty much held me over for the morning I put enough protein in that meal to tide me over until I got the house clean and ran errands.


LUNCH:
turkey sandwich w/ lettuce, tomato, hummus and stone ground mustard on WW bread
1 claussen pickle spear
1/2 cup of Progresso Vegetable and Rice soup


Not much to say here wasn't in that hot of a mood so I took a nap after lunch. I decided to cook dinner. Actually I cook on all my days off. I have to. If my BF was in charge everything would have lard in it. So I made.....

DINNER:
Baked chicken wings (I had 2)
red beans and brown rice (a recipe I found on sparkpeople)
and okra


I don't think I actually want a desert tonight I've just been feeling really blah so a glass of sugar free lemonade will do me just fine.

a quick update

So I have to be up early in the AM so I'll make this quick
Food:
Breakfast: Nothing (I know I know) bad me, but I slept in so doesn't it kinda even out
Lunch: Chipotle Chicken Burrito Bol- (Romaine lettuce, black beans, chicken, pico de gallo, corn salsa, and very light cheese and sour cream) and 1 glass of Coke Zero
Snack: Reese's Peanut Butter cups
Dinner: Brown Sugar Salmon, Brocolli, and Bob Evans Mashed sweet potatoes
Calorie Total:1,544
yep I'm done

The Check IN......

DIET
Today I went to "the pig" looking for my fave Ezekiel 4:9 bread *sigh* to no avail they got rid of it!!! I knew there was a reason I didn't shop there that often! So I was a lazy daisy today. I got up at about 11:30 am so after I left the grocery store and Sally's I had breakfast. (Yes I had breakfast at 12:30!

So Far:
1 slice of Butternut whole Grain 100% whole wheat bread (toasted of course!)
1 TB of Smucker's sugar-free strawberry preserves
1 egg poached hard (runniness is yucky)
2 strips of Jennie-O extra lean turkey bacon
So far so good, but the day has just begun there is still work looming @ 5. While in line the man in front of me picked up my kryptonite (reese's peanut butter cups) I almost got the shakes stopping myself from buying one, but I made it whew!
HAIR
So I just bought the products to begin my hair care regimen. Due to my workout schedule I will be sticking to the braids and wigs at least until June. However I will make a point to more frequently wash and condition the crowning glory that is tucked away underneath. I decided that what I will start with is a pre-poo on Sunday nights, a shampoo and condition monday and I will braid it then. I will apply a leave-in conditioner daily. We'll see what transpires from there.

MAKEUP
after my mini CCO haul on Tuesday I think I'll just get one product next week oh and I'm really thinking about getting the Monistat Chafing Gel as a primer I hear it works well for oily skin like mine but GOSH I'm really having a problem with the idea of MONISTAT ON MY FACE!!!! So I'm still holding out for the 260 to get my MAC foundation in the mean time I went around to all the counters and asked for foundation samples (I know that's kinda cheating) I liked Clinique's so much after wearing it tuesday I bought it, but now I'm falling in love with Lancome's Teint Idole Ultra in Suede 5 might have to get that too GOSH I will never get my security deposit if I keep shopping. I have to keep telling myself the move comes first! Oh and I plan on potting my UDPP sometime this week I'll show/tell you how that works out

EXERCISE
I swear I haven't been anywhere near the gym since tuesday :( I know I know I've just been plain lazy. I'll definitely will be there in the morning (gosh I just really hate the new January crowds).

P.S. I've been wanting to post more pics but somethings wrong with a) my new memory card or b) my drive either way the BF is outta town and he's the house techie so maybe I'll be adding some pics on Tuesday laterz!

the meaning of "the royal transformation"

Ok I'll be honest. This blog did start purely as a weight loss blog. but I had to acknowledge a few things and make a shift. I have MANY things to work on that attribute to my health. My hair, that I acknowledge very in frequently is probably damaged beyond belief while it's braided underneath whatever cute wig I find for the moment. I have went weeks without tending to my hair. (I know it's pathetic) That today does change. My skin is pretty good, because I always try to put my best face forward. So I'm pretty good about what I use on it, cleaning my makeup brushes regularly and having a good skin care regimen. And I must be honest no matter how much I work out I am HORRIBLE with what I eat. I have a reese's peanut butter cup addiction that just might get the best of me. and I snack too much on the wrong things. So from time to time I switch it up or perhaps I'll speak of all my health and beauy topics in one day. Either way it's time for princess valecia to make the changes with herself necessary to be a queen. And that my friends is what THE ROYAL TRANSFORMATION is all about.

for those of you who stopped believing.......

This helped me believe that BLACK LOVE STILL EXISTS

The aftershock

Soooo my boyfriend believes that he gets a WEEK to celebrate his birthday. I told him 21 year olds get a week to party. Thirty one year old such as himself get a day...maybe two. DAMN did we pack a lot in a day I'm sooo tired! My batteries died wish I had pics.

Yesterday I worked till 2:30 pm, came home, showered and changed and the adventures began. First we went to dinner at some lil cute Milwaukee diner he loves so much. Yeah my eating habits were SO NOT on point. We both had reubens with french fries. God I love those things:D I really miss not good for you food sometimes *sigh*

Next we moved on over to the bradley center for the Bucks game. Where the Bucks served up a whopper ass whoopin' to the Dallas Mavericks 133-99 I believe. I'm proud to say I didn't buy anything to eat(but that's because we shared a king size reese's peanut butter cups on the way there). Afterwards we headed out to meet his crazy friends for drinks. Which turned from let's get a few drinks to...."let's get completely smashed" Oh does my body feel it now. And somehow at 4 am we all were at a denny's eating burgers *sigh* yeah I know Not good at all, but I'll be back on track tomorrow. I'm fully aware that sometimes fun costs. They all decided to sleep over our place and in the morning we all took an impromptu trip to Chicago and I got home with just enough time to shower and dress for work. So yeah I'm pretty freakin' exhausted!!! Tomorrow it's back to the gym. Picking up where I left off.

Today was a good day!

That's the look of Happy!!

So tomorrow is my boyfriend's birthday so I chose to get in a great workout this morning because I will be hanging with him and his friends probably eating pizza and drinking beer so I have to burn as many calories as possible. I'd like to say I'm losing weight, but right now I'm at 268.9 so I'm down 1.1 yeah I'm pretty damn happy about that it's something

See I definitely don't look the part of 268 and 5'4"
anywho today has been just great! 1) I watched the inauguration of the first black president 2) freebies at the make-up counters (I got Sarah Jessica Parker's Lovely body lotion) 3) my lil cousin bought me a cute new shirt 4) I went to CCO and got a new lipglass (Boldheart), lipstick (Cyber), blush(Raisin), and foundation (Clinique's Perfectly Real Make-up in #54).5) I finally picked up the parcel from the post office that had been waiting for me for weeks, my big sister Laurie lives in San Francisco and works in marketing for benefit cosmetics. She sent me this amazing B-Spot fragrance kit! I did have some really unusual moments today! 1)I woke up at 3 am with the biggest craving for Coke Zero ever!!! it was so freakin' strange cause I haven't had a soda in months. It nagged me for 2 hours. What the hell was that about??? 2) Leaving CCO I took a wrong turn and landed in a snow filled DITCH (no joke)!!! a man came by to help me and HE landed in the ditch too!! Luckily he called his friend and he came and pulled us both out! Well I should really be sleeping I have to be at work at 7 am and me and my sweetie have lots of plans for tomorrow *muah*

Yeah the Make-up giveaway (supposedly)

So we all know I can't buy a new MAC foundation until I weigh 260. :( Which might take longer than anticipated because boy my workouts have not been up to par lately! Not to mention everyone wants to call me to go drink and celebrate and I always say YES!!! Oddly enough I never know what exactly I am celebrating :D But anywho I got wind through my many connections that many high end make-up companies were sued in a lawsuit for holding back product count to increase the sale of the items they carry. They lost and we benefit!!!! Specific places are giving away a free item tomorrow. Now originally I read that the stores are picking out which item, but at my local mall (Racine, WI) The lancome counter girl told me that Lancome, Clinique, and Estee Lauder are coming together and having ONE big counter tomorrow and people get to choose ONE item from the three entirety (not one from each, but just ONE) Hmmmm??? IDK we'll see how this works needless to say I will be at the mall bright and early and ready for my free item, and if it goes well I'll hit some close by cities. *Muah*

ugh whats next?!

So I'm not gonna lie I'm kinda stressed. Right before christmas I had a fight with my landlord and it ended with these words, "Well you don't have to worry about me anymore cause I'll be out March 1st". Ummmm yeah I kinda put my foot in my mouth there so now between a very busy work, exercise, and life schedule I have to find a new place to live. The BF??? So unhelpful!!! :( We go look at a place and he tells me his half-assed opinion and doesnt try to weigh options or anything. ERRRR! Not to mention it's like -10 out now and outside of going to work I prefer to go NOWHERE else! My new years' resolution to be better with my money is really working, but MONEY for a move arrrgh!!! That's just a bit much! So I went to the gym this morning at the butt crack of dawn and it was a little more packed than I would have liked. I ran into this older gentleman that comes into IHOP all the time to order his salad. He gave me this "congrats fat girl on joining the healthy revolution" smile. I just smiled back I was too busy focusing on NOT dying on the stairmill. My intention for some reason was to flip him off.


There are certain foods I love and always will. Those would be soul food, mexican food, italian food and chinese. Last night at work (my home away from home) as the dinner rushed died down I had picked up the menu and started looking for some light fare for my own dinner. I had decided upon a chicken sandwich and fruit when the busser informed me that he had brought corn tortillas and the cooks were in the back making tacos. Not anykind of tacos. Not crappy taco bell tacos, but authentic tastiness. I ran in the kitchen to see chorizo, pork loin, onions and all kinda spicy lovliness on the grill being cooked to perfection. After I was told in spanish that I couldn't eat any due to my diet I rolled my eyes and made three very small tacos. After all I'm the boss if I don't eat they don't eat. LOL. I washed it down with an Iced Tea and I made that the end of my eating for the day. Calorie Intake for Thursday? 1580 Pretty damn proud I am LOL!

I hate to say this but.....

1) I have killer cramps
2) It's about -4 outside
3) I have an apartment to clean
4) I have a bunch of laundry to do
5) I have to be at work by 5
6) and a very sick annoying boyfriend on my hands

So.....
I'll be passing on the gym today

my MAC desires are getting the best of me

I know me. Pretty damn well might I add. Unfortunately I know I have a major procrastination issue and I know of all seasons the winter is where I get my most lazy. I also know I have a MAJOR addiction to makeup. So I promised myself I couldn't go to the MAC counter and buy a new foundation until I made it to 260. DAYUUUM!!! That's like at least 4 weeks away:( In the meanietime I promised myself that I'm allowed to go to the Cosmetic Company outlet once a week only and ONLY if I stay with in my caloric range and get in at least 4 workouts a week! That allows me to get some sweet lil MAC makeup goodie for 30% off, so I can look half-way cute when I'm not sweating and looking gym gross. So here's what I got yesterday.Is it not the prettiest purple EVER????!!!!
Anywho my workouts aren't as intense this week I've been feeling a lil' TOM blah, but I'm sure to pick it up by Sunday! So far my eating is good. I went to BW3 with the boyfriend last night and had a side salad and 4 of the smallest honey BBQ wings on the plate. I was pretty proud of myself. Truth be told a year ago I would have had some mozzarella sticks, a beer, a coke, maybe a margarita and 10 wings, and some potato wedges. Today I didn't do so hot. I failed to mention I'm a restaurant supervisor and waitress at a beloved IHOP! (yeah just think how much harder that makes this eating thing) This morning at work I had a 2 egg spinach, mushroom, and cheddar cheese omelet. Well I got my veggies, but they piled that cheese pretty darn thick (kinda to the point where it isn't even good anymore). Not to mention I was so hungry I totally forgot to tell them to make it with egg whites and no butter. Oh well I'll do better at the next meal. I refuse to bat myself up over my bad days. I know I will have plenty, but I gotta keep moving forward. Well I guess I'll be having my leftovers from monday tonight. I cooked turkey meatloaf (from a recipe I found on sparkpeople), homemade mashed potatoes (with a lil soymilk and I can't believe it's not butter spray) and steamed green beans. My boyfriend secured his space as meat and potatoes man because he left the heaping pile of green beans right in the middle of his plate. I guess I'll be eating those tonight;) Hope all of you are well out there *smooches*

The reality...

I figured if I really want to show you where I'm headed I guess I have to show you where I am. So here goes nothing *swallow*. This is me at my god sisters wedding. 6/21/08. I was the fattest bridesmaid, and trust me there is NO prize in that, so I had to pride myself on being the funniest and coolest girl in the 26 person wedding party (wasn't hard I have personality). I remember days of being the hungriest person alive so that I could still have to buy a girdle to look nice in my dress. (As you can see by the time the reception kicked off I looked like fat, lumpy, me anyway) But this is where I'm starting this is my before. Every great adventure has a beginning so I'm not ashamed of what my beginning is because I'm too busy seeing the outcome. Don't get it twisted I LOVE me! Don't believe me????? See I think that girl (*cough*) sorry me...is HOT, but I know she can always be hotter

The beginning (well not quite)

I didn't do this as a new years' resolution , or because I had some profound a-ha moment. I did it because as time went on each and everyday I became a little more repulsed with the woman in the mirror. I began to find solace in knowing that they're people fatter than me, or that my boyfriend still thinks I'm beautiful (so he says), or my favorite "I don't look as if I weigh that much". So it allowed me to be lazy, complacent, and even somewhat happy with my weight. Not anymore! This is where the tables turn and I become concerned about my health. After all I am 27 years old and I would like to have a child in the future (not the near future) and I don't want my weight to hold me back from being the greatest mother I can be. I don't want my children to learn my BAD eating habits either. Sure I have dreams of......looking like Kim Kardashian, but when you're african-american, 270, and 5'4" you gotta be a little more realistic LOL! I would love to look like Jennifer Hudson. Currently my goal is 175. Once I get to 175 then I will determine whether or not to take it further. I must be honest December 8th, 2008 I started this journey at 275. I am now 270. So to make my first major goal a loss of 100 pounds is definitely stepping in the deep end of the pool. I just pray that I can stay afloat.

 I eat right, exercise as much as I can fit it into my schedule, and I stay surrounded by positive people even if it's only my friends on sparkpeople.com. I have taken to running the cooking in my household since my boyfriend normally did and he's a meat and potatoes boy. I just ask you to follow my journey maybe you could be inspired by me...or we could inspire each other. The road is hard and long, but I will make it."If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."- Maya Angelou