The nagging fear

I'm scared....scared out of my freaking mind and there's no better way to put it. I have been OP or even UP every day this week. The amount of water I drink almost makes it hard for me to function at work, and the amount of fruits and veggies I eat have almost doubled. My portions are extremely smaller and from afar (or even upclose) for that matter it looks like everything is going right...WRONG!!! HERE'S THE ISSUE...I JUST FEEL HEAVIER!!! Last friday I had a light breakfast and a glass of water and right before my 3 lb. loss weigh in I felt like a complete piggy. So I can't tell if I'm winning or losing until I get on the scale because I just feel this constant weird fullness...even if I eat a kiwifruit and 1/2 a cup of cottage cheese and a water I get that same horrendous nagging fullness I experienced when I'd overindulge on a double bacon burger and fries.....is this normal?? My biggest fear is getting on that scale and having a gain. And right now my body isn't a good indicator of whats going on.

Weigh-In

Well the weather was fantastic this weekend and I have been doing so much and going so many places that a) I haven't tracked since Friday (oops) and i forgot to tell you about the scale war at WI...I lost 3 pounds...yes 3 of those pounds are gone and I will make all the effort in the world to make sure they stay gone. That's all I have to say for now!

TAGGED!!! again LOL :)

From the title I will assumed u guessed it I was tagged by the magnificent MZ.CYN.DEZ


Okay, here's the rules:


1. Respond and rework: answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.
2. Tag eight other people.


• What is your current obsession? My weightloss and blush what a weird ass combination. I have MAC X-rocks and I pretty much fell in love with all their shimmertone blushes at that moment

• What is your favorite store?: I must say I've become uber cheap lately (blame the recession) so I like Simply Fashion, Rainbow Fashion, Dots and the infamous payless

• What are you wearing today? my valentines heart nightgown lol

• What’s for dinner today? a turkey burger and baked fries..and a greek side salad

• What would make today special? if it would stop raining so I could do a mile on the track

• What would you like to learn to do? Braid my own hair its lame that I have to be placed on schedule with my lil cousin for her to braid my hair..LOL if she has homework then I'm outta luck..that's damn sad

• What’s the last thing you bought? a LUNA bar LOL

• What are you listening to right now? The sound of my boyfriend playing Simon on his laptop

• What is your favorite weather? A lil sun with a slighly cool breeze.

• What is your most challenging goal right now? keeping financially afloat

• What do you think about the person who tagged you? she is awesome and has an adorable daughter

* What are 3 things that you MUST have in your makeup bag? 1. MAC Deep Dark Blot Powder, MAC lipglass in Boldheart, and MAC lipglass in Nico Now

* What is currently on your want list?: NARS orgasm blush, Nars China Blue eyeshadow, and some new adidas crosstrainers

I'm tagging: all my followers (that makes it easy)

creating AND fighting temptations

I've been doing pretty good this week...watching my points, getting my water in..you know generally being a good girl, but I've been dying for some chorizo lately and I DON'T believe in denying myself, but I didn't want to put myself in a situation I was too weak to handle.



I woke up this morning and had this delicious big breakfast. I needed it to hold me over until I went to work ay 5 pm. I know you're thinking "skipping meals is VERY VERY BAD" but I had already proclaimed to my staff that today would be chorizo thursday I brought in enough to feed the whole staff with just a lil for a breakfast taco in the morning and that's it. Everyone got to eat which allowed me to not go overboard (when I'm sharing I'm unlikely to be a greedy piggy)

So how did my servers feel.........you can guess...they LOVED IT!!!

and I didn't have to make them take this pic either LOL

which keeps me OP and looking like the coolest manager ever!!! :)

So Friday is weigh in...BOY am I nervous can't wait to go war with that scale...wish me the best!

The adventures of 269!!!!!

I decided that Weight watchers helps me so much with food accountability so I decided to rejoin! I got on the scale and as you guessed it yeah I was 269!!!! OMG I was pissed. But a different kinda pissed...pissed enough to do something about it. I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants sometimes. Not quite sure of my portions not quite sure of my calories. But this helps my certainty. It will get better I will get smaller I will lose this weight and I will be healthier. I am committed to myself.

Life revamping

I have a few projects I've been working on lately in NO particular order:

my relationship

I love my sweetpea...we enhance each other's life to the fullest, but he's a MAN and I'M a WOMAN and for those reasons alone he makes no sense to me and I make no sense to him so we have our struggles, but for those who wished us luck were moving ahead and maybe that time away made us love each other that much more. He's a mess and so am I, but together we are the $#@! no questions asked. I would hate to come home and not see him cooking dinner or sitting in his boxers watching TRUtv. Relationships are work.....and for my babycakes I'm always willing to punch in.

my finances

OMG!!!! I woke up this morning with THIS realization. I NEED A SECOND JOB!!!! I want too much for my paycheck!! I can only take the boyfriend to Macy's and CCO so many times and give the sad face. I think it's getting played out with him. Not to mention I'd like to buy a new (well newer) car this summer. I'm looking for a summer waitressing gig. We'll see what happens. Even with my splurges I've been damn good at keeping track of my cash. But I always seem to have a growing list of things I want.

My Hair Care regimen

This picture was the start of my regimen in January. It has grown by leaps and bounds. I am so into my hair it is ridiculous and I'm hoping and praying come Dec. 2009 I will be swinging at sexy shoulder length. I am currently 10 weeks post relaxer and boy is that new growth an issue but I wanna hold out just a lil longer. I've added Wave Nouveau Finishing Lotion, Hot Six Oil and Castor Oil to my regimen and I'm always ALWAYS on the quest for new conditioners. I still keep my hair tucked under a wig, but I'm far more conscious of what's going on underneath it now. HHG ladies

My weight loss efforts

I am so topsy turvy on the scale!!! I decided to rid myself of my gym membership. I rarely ever go and I've spent more time walking the high school track near my new place than I ever have thought about going across town to the gym. I decided since I currently have so much on my plate. I will focus a full month on one thing I chose my calorie intake, next month I will focus on my workouts, and then come June I will put them to work together. I have not given up and will NOT give up!

So I just wanted to update my followers...thanks for your comments I'll be back in the blogging galaxy very soon.

The WL Journey

I have been doing great with staying in my caloric range! I'm pretty dang proud of that and actually yesterday I stayed on the lighter end of the scale. It wasn't a problem until I woke up this morning freakin famished!!! Yeah that 1,336 calories is Just NOT enough!! But according to the great super computer of SPARKPEOPLE I was a lil low on carbohydrates. Maybe that had a little to do with it. But anyway this morning the furnace was really in need of some wood. LOL (Oh God that is soooo messed up) LMAO so I had a Big breakfast.



This was this mornings breakfast....excuse the toast I am actaully a great cook but I ALWAYS burn toast!! Go figure!:) 465 calories of furnace burning fuel....LOL just an update!

yeah I know I'm late like last months bill but.....

I GOT AN AWARD!!!!!!!

And I am extremely grateful for it:) I was a very happy recipient and this gracious blessing was placed on me by the wonderful Makeup by Jaqueline who is just flippin phenomenal at what she does.....I guess I should be gracing that same lovliness to someone else but I don't want to be choosy so..... The Princess is awarding ALL THE BLOGS I FOLLOW If you haven't noticed my blog is about fashion, weight loss, beauty, hair care, skin care, make-up, finances, and just general growth of being a young woman. And I thrive off of the info I get from all you fantastic ladies who have knowledge in those areas. All of you are flippin fabulous. *smooches*