Being accountable......

My shoot totally threw me off balance. I haven't blogged since last thursday and I'm truly sorry for that, but most importantly it threw off my good eating habits. While running around last Thursday prepping I realized when I hit the pillow I hadn't even eaten 900 calories that day. The day of the shoot, Friday (which went phenomenal by the way) I ate a total of 800 calories. Saturday was more like 1000, Sunday was a little over 900 and Monday through Wednesday was some ridiculous amount as if I tried to compensate for under feeding myself over the weekend. *SMH* I think I have it together...finally. I hate it when I lose focus. Though I have no problem admitting it. Yes I guess thats the biggest lesson. Not wallowing in the old adage of oh I screwed up I will never get this right. It' a journey....and theses are just small steps on the trip.

Fit for a Princess......

Wow these past few days have been a little nerve wrecking. If you've been following me for a while you know my first photoshoot is tomorrow and I am so nervous/anxious/excited/happy. I have also been running around trying to get all my necessities for the shoot at as low prices as possible. I also did a few things very last minute so I'm glad everything worked out. I was still completeing my second look with my friend at the mall yesterday when I stumbled upon this beauty.....OMG does this shoe fit my persona!!!! I have dubbed it the princess shoe and it has no choice but to be the focal point for which outfit I picked yesterday LOL! Luckily I realized I had an outfit at home that was just calling on these shoes and the right accessories. When I walk in my closet and see them it brightens up everything. I love these babies...just had to tell the world.

A ramble: Life as the Big girl.....

I will never put myself down. I know that there are thousands if not millions of people in the world lobbying for that position so I will be my head cheerleader instead. While cruising around the blogosphere I read some interesting points and started thinking. On this rode of life I have spent most if not all of it overweight so I have lots of experience in big girl life. This didn't happen after a crazy breakup (actually I tend to lose weight after break-ups), or after giving birth (I've never had that pleasure) it's just been a long process.

My mom was a generally healthy woman in her younger age. All five feet one inch of her was a high school basketball star, but my mom was never a skinny girl. I can't ever look at a picture of her and say, "Yeah that skinny woman is my mom". So the birth of her first and only child brought on a weight gain, but nothing that threw her off her pivot now she's just as healthy (weight-wise) as she was when she graduated in 1969. Now it's her 27 year old daughter she's worried about.

The only problem with that is I have never been worried. I never felt as though I didn't live a full, happy and productive life. I dated....great guys, and not-so-great guys. I learned, I laughed and had fun. I have never felt as if my life was any less than that of a girl that was a size six. As a matter of fact as a waitress I am one of the heaviest girls on our staff. I am one of the fastest and the most efficient. That has lead me to being one of the best servers in the restaurant, as well as taking a part-time management position. I surround myself with my size 4 employees all day and hear their insecurities that aren't too different from mine. Sure I have had my share of experiences that they'd never had. But no one's life is the same.

I have a great family, a cute apartment, a job, good friends, likes, dislikes, triumphs, and tragedies. No I have never worn a bikini, but I have one numerous pageants, no I have never had a boyfriend pick me up and spin me around, but I have had one profess their love with 100 pink, white, and red balloons. We all have different lives, but my size has never made mine any different. So whatever your size is know that when this life is over and you look back on how you have lived the perfect reaction should be..."dammit that was fun". So far that's how I feel and even though I'm in the process of making a far healthier me..the body I'm living this life in wouldn't be traded for the world.

7/13/09

I'm a girl that likes adventure I get bored easily and boredom has talked me into some really really really dumb things. So when it comes to my workouts I try very very hard to keep boredom at bay. My current solution??? Using random and switching my speed intervals on the elliptical and the treadmill. Today I woke up pretty late for my workout and I didn't really get to the gym till about 9:45am! I didn't feel like strength training and since my trainer was busy with other clients I figured I could get on the treadmill furthest in the corner and do my thing unnoticed. Once a got on I was feeling a little more than brave. I hit a couple of magical buttons and lo and behold I began a 45 minute trek that had moderate speeds and intense varying inclines. What kinda damage did I do in my 45 minutes you ask??? 512 calories and I'm pretty freaking proud!

Breakfast: Yoplait light yogurt in Strawberry Banana and a large peach
Lunch: Qdoba Mango Salsa Chicken Salad
Snack: Green Monster incl. 1 c. spinach 1/2 banana, 1/2 tsp. flax seed, 1/2c. original almond breeze, and ice
Dinner: 4 oz. Tilapia 1 c. brocolli and a side salad
Snack: 1 c. green grapes and a Snicker's Marathon Nutrition Bar in Dark Chocolate Crunch

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It's always good to be flexible....

I must say healthy eating has become slightly easier for me. I have tried hundreds of methods and have failed hundreds of times. But I am very much aware that what I put into my body is very VERY important and matters just as much (if not more) than the workouts themselves. What I am putting into my body shows on my exterior and in a non-egotistical way I want to put out the best exterior I possibly can. There is no feeling better than feeling healthy. That's why I have taken on a flexitarian diet.


WTF is a flexitarian???

Well I'm glad you asked!


Flexitarianism is a semi-vegetarian diet focusing on vegetarian food with occasional meat consumption. A self-described flexitarian seeks to decrease meat consumption without eliminating it entirely from his or her diet. There are no guidelines for how much or how little meat one must eat before being classified a flexitarian. Flexitarian is distinguished from polpescetarian, i.e., one who eats only chicken and fish, but does so exclusively. [1]
In 2003, the American Dialect Society voted flexitarian as the year's most useful word and defined it as "a vegetarian who occasionally eats meat".[2]

Once again...Thanks wikipedia! I have found that A very large part of my calories are taken in from meat.I think I'm kinda addicted at times. It becomes the focal point of my meal rather than an accessory. A salad without chicken...was blasphemy to my taste buds. But once I realized how much better I felt with more fruits, vegetables and water in my system the idea for a large desire to consume meat diminished.

I have been inspired by so many healthy lifestyles and though I want to reduce my meat intake I have yet to feel a need to delve head first into vegan or vegetarian lifestyle for that matter. Right now I like things the way they are. Somedays I have no meat at all others I have it for only one meal. Today I want to make chicken salad on a bed of mixed greens...so there! I like the idea of not being tied down to a label. Just finding out what works for me along the way.

Rambling 101

I have so many unrelated topics to spew that I'm going to do a ramble. Haven't done one of these in a while and it doesn't require me to think hard about it LOL. Here WE GO!

* I weighed in yesterday at 252 Yeah!!! I had stalled for a while this really put a smile on my face!

*Friday I went to the gym twice! YEP Twice! I know you're thinking so what! But for me that is like life...a song worth singing!

*I've realized that I have FINALLY broken up with meat. We are cordial and see each other every once in a while, but we are no longer tied to the hip as we used to be.

*I have a photo shoot in exactly 10 days! I am excited, nervous, anxious, and all the things that come along with it. It's also my first shoot. I will show the world that I am beautiful at 252...damn near gorgeous even!

*I really want to be a plus size model. I came to this conclusion after a lot of urging from my ex, unfortunately how much modeling do you think I can do at 27 that's considered elderly!

*I feel like it's my healthy lifestyle duty to take everyone I know and love to Whole Foods Market. I took a co-worker Sunday and I loved watching her face light up at food she had never experienced before. I felt like a proud mama!

*Lately my stamina has been off the Richter scales. My trainer said, "That's what good eating and exercise do to you...I know he's right

*OMG I bought kale and flax seed meal and I'm using it!

*I bought coconut water....never again!

* I use olive oil, red wine vinegar, sea salt and fresh ground pepper on salads now. WOW I was addicted to Hidden Valley Ranch for years!

* I don't know if it's the veggies and fruits or the new Clinique regimen or both but my skin is like dark chocolate goodness now...clear and smooth...not flawless, but clear and smooth!

*I haven't done some super crazy out there MAC shopping lately. I have an appointment there next Sunday. Pre-shoot to show me how to duplicate a look since I'm my own make-up artist for that day. I hope I don't buy the counter!

* I applied at the new sephora in my area today. I hope I get it. It would be a great part-time job! Selling pancakes is getting old. I've been doing it for four years now!

* I hope you all in blog land are doing well. I can not tell you enough how much you all inspire me!